Just trying to put some thoughts in order...

I've often studied law over the years... and today has been no different for me. Because there is an element of psychology to law, I tend to study that as well - however, the course I'm studying right now and today's method of "helping those who are most in need" has thrown up some issues that have left me unable to focus on my coursework... so I would like to throw them out there and see what other people think of them.

The first problem that I encountered was three paragraphs looking at the involvement of young men in gangs and criminal activity. On the whole, I'd agree that, at one time, young men were more likely to end up in gangs and committing crimes - but these days, I also feel that young women are in just as much danger of ending up leading a criminal lifestyle as young men are... to that end, I felt that it was more than a little unfair to have half a page dedicated to young men and their involvement in gangs and criminal activity to then compress the involvement of young women into 2 sentences right at the very bottom of the page.

My second issue revolves around the age old idea of class. Our government has spent a long time focussing on how to get the lower classes out of poverty in the hopes that it would reduce the overall crime rate of our nation. Fair do's we all want to cut crime, right?

While I appreciate the stereotypical view that poverty and crime should theoretically go together because it would make sense that those who cannot afford to buy things might be more likely to commit crimes in order to own what everyone else has and takes for granted, I also think that the upper classes are also at greater risk of committing crimes too - the only difference here would be the types of crime that the two classes are committing. While the lower classes are more likely to commit crimes that are more directly related to survival, the upper classes are more likely to commit crimes that would be more recreational since they have no need to do anything in order to simply survive from day to day, they can spend their time seeking to have a good time.

If I'm right and both the lower class citizen and the upper class citizen are just as likely as each other to commit crime... then wouldn't it stand to reason, that for once in our lives, we would be better off dropping the class divide and working with children because they are children as opposed to the class of society that they originate from?

Suffering the effects of The Black Dog

Telling someone who is already suffering the effects of depression to "Get a REAL life" is never going to work. What you don't realise is that depression is an isolating disease... getting out of bed in a morning is no big deal for you - for me, it takes a similar effort as running a marathon. Yes, I might be up, I might even be here, but I know that this isn't me.

Looking in the mirror, I have no idea who it is looking back at me. I need the familiar - familiar faces, familiar places... I know that it might not be healthy for me. The question is, Is it better to have those that you know around you at a time when you don't even know yourself?

I can have the freedom to come and go as and when I choose and not be here to enjoy it, or I can live the familiar certainty of the life that I've known for years and dig myself out of this hole.

"Relax and let me in" you say. The truth is that I can't. I know that if I truly let you in, you'll see the poison that I hide deep down inside - you won't like it because you can't deal with it... sooner or later, you'll tire of being my only light in the dark or you don't want to hold my hand when all I can think about is ending my life - yes, I know it's the tenth time this week - trust me, I've thought about it many more times than that, but I chose not to burden you with it.

Seek professional help you say - trust me, professional help only goes so far... ultimately, you are the one left alone trying to prevent the ship from sinking. It's okay that you might not know what to say to me. I understand that depression isn't easy for those who have no experience. Sometimes, it's okay not to have a magic wand to make everything better... sometimes, the best way that you can help is to sit me in your lap, wrap your arms around me and give me a (real or virtual) hug until I feel better. I need someone to love me in the way that I'm incapable of loving myself right now.

Sure, I might cry or feel unworthy, but that is the best way that you can help me as I walk through my Valley of The Shadow of Death.